We are nice gentle innocent cute people!!!
It's the entertainment that counts!
We take turns to bitch about things we don't like!
Sometimes even about things we like~
Depends on our moods~!!!
JUST DON'T TRY TO MESS WITH US!
Prison
Hospital
Mental Hospital
To beat up assholes!
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July 2012
Wanted: PARENTS
Be prepared, this is hysterical. If it had been presented this way, I don't believe any of us would have done it!
POSITION
Mom, Dad, Mommy, Daddy, Mama, Papa, Ma, Pa
JOB DESCRIPTION
Long term, team players needed for challenging, permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work in variable hours which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.
RESPONSIBILITIES
- The rest of your life.
- Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs 5bucks.
- Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
- Must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule (someone who can be ridden, or be forced to carry heavy objects for no pay or gratitude) and be able to go from zero to 60mph in three seconds flat in case.
- Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers.
- Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
- Must have the ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
- Must be willing to be indispensable.
- Must be able to handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap plastic toys and battery operated devices.
- Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
- Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product.
- Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT AND PROMOTION
None. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE
None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
WAGES AND COMPENSATION
- Get this! You pay them!
- Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
- A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent.
- When you die, you give them whatever is left.
- The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
BENEFITS
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, letting them know they are appreciated for the fabulous job they do... or forward with love to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
AND A FOOTNOTE? THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!!
If you are fortunate enough you will become grandparents!
Keep laughing, best medicine for the heart and mind.
Complained @ 9:52 PM